Randy's Ramblings

Saturday, September 20, 2003




Monday, September 08, 2003

Some day I'll learn...
I hate conflict. I hate when someone approaches me with a conflict. I hate even more when I have to be the one to initiate conflict. It makes me break out in a cold sweat. It triggers strange habits that I never knew I had - like cracking my knuckles or clicking my ink pens. I hate conflict more than I hate washing the dishes - and I really hate washing the dishes, just ask my wife...
I am not alone. Many people - most people - that I know feel the same way about conflict that I do. I only know one or two people who do really well with conflict. I don't think I know of a single person who actually likes conflict.
Actually, even through my hatred of it, I have learned in life that conflict is a good thing. When everyone agrees and no one brings in a conflicting point of view, we rush into decisions and make some silly mistake. When we avoid confronting someone early on - when the problem is very small - the problem mushrooms to cataclysmic proportions. "If only I had confronted them when this first started..."
I was feeling some tension with a friend recently - a lot of tension - and it was driving me crazy. I was to the point that I didn't even want to talk to this person. I finally decided to bite the bullet and confront the issue - bring out my concerns and lay it all out on the table. My palms got sweaty. I started to click my ink pen. I considered driving home to do the dishes... Then I mustered up the courage to confront my friend and exercise some healthy conflict.
I walked away feeling as if a two-ton boulder had been lifted off of my back. I felt like a new man. I had a new lease on life... okay, maybe that's a little over the top... I felt so much better afterwards that I wondered why I hadn't had this conversation a LONG time earlier. I know the answer: I'd rather do dishes. Some day I'll learn...