Randy's Ramblings

Monday, August 22, 2005

I just read some interesting stuff on the website www.dyingchurch.com it talks about our need, both as individuals and churches, to die to ourselves, to deny ourselves, take up our crosses and follow Jesus - NO MATTER what it costs or where He leads.

It felt like an affirmation that Becky and I are doing the right thing by trusting God and following Him, even though we're not sure where we're going. I'm not sure that we've figured out what it means to die to ourselves yet, but I think we're on the right track.

Tonight, during our prayers. I asked that God would help us to die to ourselves and follow Him - no matter what. I found myself almost scared to pray that prayer - the
"no matter what" part scares me the most, I think.

I feel pretty good about stepping out in faith and leaving my full-time ministry position. The transition has not been difficult so far. We've got money to pay the bills, I am doing something that I've dreamed about for some time, and we haven't had to uproot our family and move.

Will I still feel good about it when the money runs out, or the business dries up, or if God calls us to pack up and leave town?

I suppose I'll be like Abraham - NOT the polished up Abraham that Sunday School teachers talk about, but the messy Abraham that lied and told people that Sarah was his sister to save his own skin. Like the Abraham that didn't trust God's promise to give him and Sarah a son, so he took Hagar, his wife's servant, and tried to help God out a bit...

I'm afraid that's how I will respond. I'll follow God's leading, but along the way I'll get nervous and try to take matters into my own hands. Of course, God will still love me, and lead me, but there I'll be, saying, "I'm not so sure God can pull this one off, maybe I should step in and help out a bit." I hope I see the arrogance of that statement before it even becomes a thought....
too late...

3 Comments:

  • My name is Christy and I am also in the ministry and just read your post. I'm getting ready to move to a new state, city and job. I know your feelings on trusting God and I pray that He will show you His path! Blessings! Christy

    By Blogger Criddy, at 1:41 PM  

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    By Anonymous Smoke, at 3:12 AM  

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